Partner Relationships

  • 7 min read

Partner Relationship

The teenage years for many is a time that people get involved in their first relationships. While having a girlfriend or boyfriend might be exciting and fun, teens often feel confused about relationships. It is important to stay safe and happy whether or not you decide to become involved in a relationship.

 

Issues that may cause teens to worry in a relationship

  • Breaking Up
  • Parents not liking their partner
  • Having Sex

 

Breaking Up

Breaking up is never easy. Sometimes it is our choice, sometimes not, but it is rarely ever a pleasant experience. Breaking up is a part of life, a risk we take when we enter a relationship.

 

Ending a Relationship

If you are unhappy in your relationship, or don’t feel the same way about your partner anymore, you might be considering ending the relationship but you might not know how.

When you feel that a relationship has reached as far as it can go it is important to let your boyfriend or girlfriend know how you feel. Be clear and honest about why you want to end the relationship. It is really hurtful to break up via text or email. This could cause unwanted animosity and your partner may never get the closure they need. Be direct but be polite.

 

Being Dumped

Sometimes we are the ones who are being broken up with. It an be upsetting if your partner dumps you especially if you do not want the relationship to end. This can be a very painful time but you can survive it.

 

Here are some tips to help you get through a break up

  • Share your feelings – It can be helpful to express your feelings. Talk to your friends, your parents or maybe a mentor like a teacher or coach. You can even call ChildLine at 800-4321 or 131
  • Be Nice to yourself – remember what is good about you. Remember that breakups can happen to anyone. Don’t be overly critical of yourself. Learn what you can from the experience to improve yourself.
  • Release your feelings – Do not be afraid to cry. Breakups can cause a range of unpleasant feelings, from depression to rage. Releasing these feelings constructively can be extremely helpful.
  • Keep yourself busy – Sometimes, it is difficult to move when all you feel like doing is crying or moping about your loss. Do the things you usually enjoy or even find a new hobby.  You will start feeling good about yourself and possibly even meet new people.
  • Give yourself time – It takes time to get over a breakup. For each individual and each break up, the time for healing varies. Accept that this is a process.
  • Do not obsess about what went wrong – You may play different scenarios of what went wrong over and over. Maybe there were multiple causes of the demise of the relationship. The point is, it’s all in the past. Instead of focusing on the past, focus on the future and all the things that could be.

 

For more information on this visit:

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/datingrelationships/tp/Surviving-a-Breakup.htm

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Life/Pages/Relationships.aspx

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/Relationships_Love_Dating.htm

 

Parents not liking your partner

Sometimes you might have strong feelings for someone that your parents don’t like. When this turns into a relationship, for many this situation could create tension and internal conflict. Most times our parents are seeking our best interests. You should take time to talk to your parents understand their objections to the person you are with. Your parent might have valid reasons for not liking this person, reasons that you have become blind to. Sometimes your parents have misguided information about the person you are with. Take the time to talk to your parents and clear up these misconceptions.

Your parents might be objecting to your relationship because they are worried for you. They might worry what others may say or do to you if you are in an unconventional relationship. They might worry that this person would end up hurting you.  Your parents might even be seeing changes in you since the relationship started that you are not even aware of.

It is important to hear your parents out and have respect for their opinions. Even if you feel your parents are misguided, understand that they have your best interests at heart and maintain a level of respect for them. They may come to like your partner, or they might never do, but if you communicate with them you might find that you can agree to disagree and you will have much less tension.

 

For more information visit

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/forbiddenlove.htm

 

Having Sex

With so much emphasis on sex in the media, entertainment and amongst your peers, teenagers sometimes feel pressured to be sexually active. Sex is normal in loving relationships between couples above the age of consent. What is the age of consent? The age of consent is the age above which it is legal for two persons to have sex. In Trinidad and Tobago, the legal age at which a male and female citizen is permitted to have sexual intercourse is 16 years and over.

(For more on this you can read the Sexual Offences Act 1986 as amended by Sect 31 of the Sexual Offences Act 2000)

It is important to give yourself enough information about sex before you decide whether or not you are ready to have sex. If you are having sex or thinking about sex, it is best to find out about it and take responsibility for what your are doing. Having sex is a big decision because it can have big unintended consequences such as Pregnancy, STDs or HIV/AIDS. Read our articles on these topics for more information.

Many teenagers feel pressured by the boyfriends or girlfriends to have sex. If you do not feel comfortable or ready to have sex with someone you should let them know. Most of all, do not put yourself in a situation where you can be coerced to have sex against your will.

 

People feel pressured to have sex because

  • They think it will help them to feel grown up
  • Their friends are doing it
  • They think that doing it will make the person they are having sex with love them
  • They are worried about what people would say if they don’t

 

None of these reasons are good enough reasons to have sex if you are simply not ready. Make a decision that is best for you and stand by it.

If you want to learn more about sex here is more information to help you make your decision.

 

There are different types of sex

  • Vaginal sex – when a male’s penis enters a female’s vagina.. It is the only form of sex that can lead to pregnancy. This type of sex can lead to STDs and HIV/AIDS
  • Oral sex – any kind of sex that involves using the mouth and the genitals. This type of sex can also spread STDs and HIV/AIDS. To be safe from these while having oral sex you should use a condom or dental dam.
  • Anal sex – Anal sex is any tpe of sex that involves penetration of the anus, It can be performed by homosexuals as well as heterosexuals. Like other forms of sex mentioned above it can lead to STDs and HIV/AIDS. Thus to be safe while having anal sex you should use protection.
  • Masturbation – refers to sexual stimulation or touching yourself. There is no risk of pregnancy or STDs or HIV/AIDS from engaging in masturbation. Some persons also use sex toys to help them feel sexual pleasure while masturbating.
  • Mutual Masturbation – means masturbating in front of a partner who is also masturnating. There is no sexual contact between the 2 persons. STDs and HIV/AIDS cannot be spread with this kind of sex.

 

To see even more information to help you determine if you are ready for sex visit:

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/sex/tp/signs_you_are_ready_for_sex.htm

 

Resources

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/SexHealth/Pages/Sex.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/SexHealth/Pages/Sex.aspx

http://www.teencentral.net/Search/Fudge.php?qu=relationships

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/Relationships_Love_Dating.htm

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/forbiddenlove.htm

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Life/Pages/Relationships.aspx

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/datingrelationships/tp/Surviving-a-Breakup.htm